John Gray: Notes on the correlation between relationships and nutrition

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John Gray has been my mentor for years. I also consider him a dear friend. He is also the author of Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus. He has taught me so much over the years but this information has always stuck with me and I would like to share it with you. Gray taught me that there is a direct correlation between the brain’s neurotransmitters and their effect on our happiness and relationships. First, the most important relationship a person has is the one they have with themselves. If you do not have a great relationship with yourself, you are less likely to share a successful relationship with anyone else. In other words, if you are happy, you will be a lot more fun to be with. Let’s take a look at two of the primary neurotransmitters that affect mood and happiness.

The first neurotransmitter is called serotonin. So, what is serotonin and what does it do? Serotonin is a chemical produced in the brain that has a wide variety of functions in the human body. John Gray calls it the “happy chemical” because it helps make us feel happy. In most cases, when you hug your child or someone you love, you feel that warm, happy feeling. This feeling comes from the release of serotonin from the brain into the body. Serotonin also helps with carrying messages between nerve cells. According to John, serotonin is an integral part of our feelings of well-being and it allows us to remain optimistic and under control. Low serotonin levels in the body can leave us vulnerable to feeling gloomy or overwhelmed and, based on studies, women tend to run out of serotonin faster than men.

The second neurotransmitter is dopamine. What is dopamine? Well, dopamine is a molecule that our body produces naturally as well. John Gray describes it as the “pleasure molecule”, which gives us the ability to concentrate, create dreams, and keep our biggest secrets. In addition, dopamine is responsible for motivation, attention, learning, and addiction. These are just a few of the roles dopamine plays in the body. This molecule also helps with the brain’s ability to solve problems with ease. People suffering from Parkinson’s are given L-Dopa, a synthetic drug that converts directly into dopamine. Low dopamine levels in the brain also seem to be a major factor in ADD and ADHD. Simply put, low dopamine makes life less than it can be.

John Gray shares in his book that one of the major differences between men and women has to do with their levels of serotonin and dopamine. Women tend to have higher levels of dopamine, which means they see problems and challenges better than men and they are often motivated to take care of the problems presented to them. However, women will run out of serotonin, which helps carry optimistic feelings through to the end of solving the task at hand. Therefore, women can often see the issues much more clearly than men and are motivated to take care of the situation as fast as possible. The problem starts when the serotonin levels dip, leading to anxiety and overwhelm and suddenly, there is no solution. This phenomenon is an integral part of understanding the differences between men and women.

Men, on the other hand run low on dopamine. At the end of the day, when men come home for the evening, their dopamine levels are depleted but they have plenty of serotonin left to burn. An all-too-common scenario plays out across the country when a man comes home from work. He is exhausted from a long day and has low levels of dopamine, yet he remains optimistic and under control because of the high levels of serotonin. As the man sinks into his favorite chair to wind down and forget the day, the woman is ready to talk about and address all the unresolved problems that the man has already dismissed. How many of you ladies would give anything for men to listen to you more?

Herein lies the conflict. Most men finish their day exhausted, ready to sit down and chill out, buying time to allow their dopamine to replenish so they can relate to their significant others. What if there were a way to help both men and women avoid this situation, which often leads to an argument or a fight? There is a very simple solution that can greatly help these deficiencies.

John Gray has done extensive research on the effectiveness of raw, undenatured, whey protein that can boost the production of serotonin and dopamine in both men and women. In women, the whey protein promotes the production of oxytocin. Oxytocin simply allows the body to make more serotonin. In men, the whey protein helps facilitate the production of testosterone, which helps increases dopamine. If you want the best chance at happy and long-lasting relationships then increasing the production of serotonin and dopamine is a great strategy. John Gray learned this from his own clinical research and experience from his time counseling couples. The couples would leave his office smiling and happy. Then, the next day, he would hear about the breakdown of communication that evening and the couple would recycle the issues that brought them into counseling initially. This is where John discovered the differences in serotonin and dopamine and the fact that they were a major contributing factor to the problems couples were having after counseling sessions. When John put couples on these nutritional protocols with raw, undenatured, whey protein, the effects of the counseling sessions lasted much longer and were more effective.

Note: Undenatured means non-pasteurized and should be from grass fed cows, with no antibiotics or growth hormones used in the raising of the cows. It might be hard to believe but it’s 100% true that something as simple as food can make a huge difference in your relationships. John Gray is considered the relationship guru and I have seen many people comment about how great they felt when adding undenatured whey proteins to their daily lives.

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